Healthy Relationships

Bible teaching about personal relationships produce great benefits, and shows us how we can  avoid, minimize, and resolve conflicts. Relationship is fragile and really requires love, understanding, respect, trust, prayer, communication, managing emotions, encouragement, solving conflicts, and accepting responsibility.

Love: Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also a virtue  representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and “the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another” Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection. (Wikipedia dictionary)

”Love is a precious gift, which we receive from Jesus. Pure and holy affection is not a feeling, but a principle. Those who are actuated by true love are neither unreasonable nor blind here is but little real, genuine, devoted, pure love. This precious article is very rare. Passion is termed love. True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that love which is awakened by impulse, and which suddenly dies when severely tested.” Ellen G. White)

Love: The definition  found in the Bible 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 KJV  In any relationship we should exhibit the love of Christ the agape love. John 3:16.) We should practice all of the above mentioned in meaning of love, among each other and live them out daily,  ”’Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” Philippians 2:2-4)   Jesus said that we are to ” love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13: 34-35)  God is love so let us live out these in our life; agape, unconditional love in our actions,deeds and words. 

Some Biblical Ways to Build healthy relationships.

Prayer  is very important in life and in relationships. It is through prayer that we build up our relationship with our father God. When Jesus was on earth He was in constant commune with His father by praying. . Jesus said, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; ”Matthew 5:44)  We should practice this in our relationships and live it ^”And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment;  That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ. Philippians 1:9-10) E.G.WHITE says ‘Prayer is the breath of the soul. It is the secret of spiritual power.”

Encouragement:  Ever heard these sayings;  Encouragement sweetens labor;  Encourage one another and build each other up; If you have nothing good to say keep your mouth shut. I prove them to be true. Criticism is not good for any relationship, negative criticism that is.  But we serve a Marvelous God who we can turn to in His word for wisdom. ”Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”  Ephesians 4:29) Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” Colossians 4:5,6) We should make others feel important, listen attentively, a friendly smile, a kind word, a note, compliment will encourage and enhance relationship. Just saying thank you is encouraging.

Respect; Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others. We should not criticize negatively as this can lead up to contempt of each other. Positive criticism in love, is so much better as this can lead up to improvement. It is better to express respect and show respect. This will build a positive relationship. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Accept Responsibility for our actions, “But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.”  1Corinthians 11:28). We should take responsibility for our actions without blaming others for things that go wrong. This will damage a healthy relationship. The blame game started in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. Eve blaming the snake and Adam blaming Eve and Adam blaming God. read Genesis 3:1-13)   No one wanted to take responsibility for his/her own actions. Because of that choice disobedience, we are now reaping the consequences -sin.

Solving  Conflict:  Sometimes, to maintain a relationship, we  must agree to disagree about a particular subject of disagreement. We should learn to work around things we cannot change. If necessary get mediator such as pastors to resolve conflicts in troubled relationships  and to begin the process of building positive relationships. ‘ But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ”.(Ephesians 4:15)  Speak truthfully to each other ” Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.”Ephesians 4; 25

Managing Emotions:  Bible teaching about building relationships teach us how we can manage our emotions. ”Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31- 32; Galatians 5:17-26.)

Communication: The most important part of any healthy relationship is putting God first and make Him the center and Head of the relationship. (life)  Communication means that you are able to share things about yourself and your feelings. It also means that you listen to what the other person shares. This can happen by doing the following; talking, emailing, writing, texting, or even using body language. When you are talking to someone, look him or her in the eye to show that you are listening and give the person your undivided attention.

(Read more about relationships at this  LINK)

 1 Corinthians:13

Source :  Holy Bible (KJV). King James Version; Wikipedia dictionary; Adventist Home p. 50 by Ellen G. White  (great book to read about family, relationship, marriage ect)